What does it take to be the number one hero? Power, sure. Determination, of course. Charisma, you bet. A family, well…
All Might, the number one hero of Japan in the hit series My Hero Academia, has an unknown past. We know some things, such as Toshinori (All Might) himself coming up with the idea to become a living symbol of peace to deter criminals and give hope to the masses. We know *spoilers spoilers spoilers*
Generation One My Little Pony brought happiness and gender targeted toys to untold girls and plastic toy collectors in the 1980s. With a heavy Dark Heart, I announce that generation’s beloved character, Applejack, had passed away due to complications from moldy hay stuck in her throat.
Applejack, real name Crabapple Jackson, gave life and cute girly sounds to the role of the silly pony Applejack. She leaves behind four daughters, twelve grandchildren, and a collection of stale Hostess apple pies no one wants to inherit. Her life-long friend, Dolly Parton will be playing at her funeral at Midnight Castle on Sunday. G4 Applejack posted on twitter this morning calling her alternate version “A bad jumper but a heck of a good mentor and friend.”
Goodbye, dear mare. You will forever be one of the greatest Applejacks not counting the current series or the cereal.
So, which is it?
The fear of change? Force of habit? Assumption that their pretty female companions will be M.I.A. during her run? Or, just old fashioned sexism?
Doctor Who, the famous British science fiction television show announced their next doctor will be Jodie Whittaker, the first ever female version of the doctor. Guess what? Some people aren’t happy with about it.
Join me as I sit down with Hunter x Hunter creator, Yoshihiro Togashi. I was planning on a more in-depth interview, a ride thoughtout the mangaka’s entire career, but things didn’t work out as planned.
I finish watching an entertaining video on Youtube, mostly, when I should be doing actual work, and there it is in the suggestions list, a reaction video, complete with a goofy picture of said person watching the video. I’d probably buy Youtube Red if it meant never having that type of video suggested again.
Look, there’s nothing wrong with the concept of reaction videos, I even subscribe to a few. The first official Youtube reaction video I ever watched was a One Piece reviewer reading a chapter with a huge character reveal (Sabo, but you knew he was already alive, right?). I remember thinking how cool it was seeing someone enjoy something I enjoy too for the first time. But, the following week he did it again, to a less than eventful chapter. And, that’s when I realized reaction videos became the new abridged series.
It took three long years, but I was finally granted permission to interview the estranged wife of the famous Flame Hero Endeavor. For the first time, we’ll hear her side about life at the Todoroki household, and that fateful day she injured her own son. Enjoy.
Is it sick and/or twisted to think about whether fictional characters had sexual relationships? Yes. But, because no one asked for it lets analyze which members of the Straw Hat crew had sex.
I need to get out more.
Luffy
Luffy, like most shounen protagonists, don’t like or understand sex. Why is that? Does all that hormonal energy get transferred into fighting power? Maybe if protags like Luffy discover sex they won’t want to do anything else. No point going to Raftel looking for booty if you can get some at a random town. Unless Hancock snuck in some sneaky dinky while Luffy was asleep during the time skip, no sex here. Well, there was that handjob on Amazon Lily but Luffy was asleep. What the hell, I’ll allow it!
Luffy: Handjob. No intercourse.
Zoro
Zoro had an undefined amount of time as a pirate hunter. Enough time to get a reputation even. That sort of reputation could get him laid easily. Zoro seems like a guy who won’t mind a one-time lay, especially if she got booze.
Zoro: Drunk Sex.
Nami
Nami doesn’t strike me as someone who had sex but the girl is a total tease. First base and second base for sure, but she’s too smart to let a guy get to third base before she’s got him handcuffed and walking out the door with his wallet. The lady don’t want your “D” when she can have your “B”, beli. Or, is it beri? Belly?
Nami: No Sex.
Usopp
Not unless Usopp & Kaya did the nasty. Did Usopp volunteer to play “doctor” with Kaya or did Kaya ever want to know if Usopp’s nose was as long as his…slingshot. Hmm. This is kinda of a toughie but factoring in the cock blocking butlers I’d say at the very least they didn’t have time to go all the way. No intercourse, only oral. Oral from Usopp. Oral speaking, I mean!
Usopp: No Sex.
Sanji
Nope. Nope. Nope. Sanji is a guy who screams virgin. Poor guy barely knows how to talk to women. Lay off the romance talk and be yourself Sanji. You can cook for Oda’s sake, you’re already 80% there! Be natural, be polite, and stop acting so desperate. We’re all rooting for you, buddy!
Sanji: No Sex. (Don’t give up!)
Chopper
He was an outcast for most of his life. No reindeer ponani for Tony Tony.
Chopper: No Bestiality.
Robin
Oh boy! I was waiting for this. We’ve seen her back story. We’ve seen her Franky recruiting skills. No virgin here. Seriously, I’m sure Robin had sex at some point. Being on the run from the World Government can be stressful and being lonely you consciously or subconsciously look for companionship. Maybe she had a boyfriend who ended up selling her out or maybe a few one-night stands to feel the warmth of another person. Our Robin has gone though a lot in her life and it’s not far fetched to say she was in a sexual relationship to forget about her problems if only briefly. That, and virgin girls don’t grab guy’s balls in public. Ms. Nico is a freak in the bed.
Robin: Kinky Sex.
Franky
I say yes because I want to believe a guy of Franky’s age had sex. Dude’s a self-proclaimed pervert, he got laid. Whether or not he lost it to a girl is more debatable. Yes, I’m one of those fans who thinks Franky is bisexual. Let’s face it, Franky to too suuuuuuper for only one gender. For a good time call Cutty Flam, 555-PERV.
Franky: Hentai Sex.
Brook
It’s easy to put Sanji and Brook in the same desperate virgin class but I think Brook did the nasty at some point before he died. Brook is the type of guy that’ll spend any available time at a strip club or red light district. Brook is always on the prowl for a whore. That’s why he’s always asking girls for panties. He’s got no time for relationships, he wants to get straight to the point. Every time he says “May I see your panties” he’s really saying “I’m old. I’m horny. Let’s fuck.” Can you imagine all the groupie tail he got during his tour? Wait. Brook doesn’t have junk. Skull joke!
Brook: How Much For A Lap Dance Sex.
Jinbe
Or Jinbei or Jimbe. Doesn’t matter how you call him, just don’t hang up. Jinbe’s a social guy. Seems like he’s always around people, except when locked up. No way he didn’t get some tail as a royal guard. And as a pirate? Please! Bad boys are sexy and he’s been going hard at it, pirating, I mean, for years. You can’t tell me he’s never hooked up with a Ryugu Royal Family groupie or some pretty (and bored) harbor resident while docked on some island. Plus, he’s a martial artist. Who wouldn’t want a big strong hunk of tuna for a midnight snack? Hey! Jinbe’s just doing what Fisher Tiger taught: coexistence in bed between humans and fish-men. And believe me, he passed that class with swimming colors.
Jinbe: Wet & Wild Sex.
RG: Hello! I’m Redgeek and welcome to Meet The Geek. Today, I have with me the esteemed creator of One Piece, Mr. Eiichiro Oda. Oda-sensei, I must say it is an honor, pleasure, and privilege to talk with you today.
Oda: I know. Just kidding! Hahahaha!!!! Hey buddy! What’s up?
RG: Wow! I had no idea you spoke English so well.
Oda: Oh, yeah yeah. I know a couple words and phrases. Good for you or this interview would be impossible.
RG: Yeeeeeeeah. *cough cough* So, why don’t you like being photographed? Is it because you’re too busy?
Oda: Oh, no! Because I’m too gorgeous! I don’t want my lovely face to distract my fans from my manga. It’s not fair for them to choose between that or me.
RG: I see. Now, how do you fee-
Oda: Japanese George Clooney! Yeah! That’s what I am. The Japanese George Clooney of manga.
RG: Right. You work hard. Fans know you spend almost every waking hour on One Piece. How do you feel about scanlators translating your story?
Oda: I hope everyone able to purchase One Piece where they live support it. My dream is for One Piece to be available for everyone to enjoy in the world.
RG: I see. So, you have no problem with fans living somewhere One Piece isn’t available reading a scanlation from Mangapanda or-?
Oda: FUCK MANGAPANDA! Have you seen what those asshats do to my baby?! Horrible translations and that God damn watermark?! Who the hell do they think they are treating my life’s work like that?! I’ll never forgive them!
RG: Woah.
Oda: I’m pissed! If you’re going to rip me off at least do it with respect! They don’t care about me or my fans, only being the fastest. Scumbags!
RG: Yeah, but what can you do?
Oda: You mean besides using my vast manga money to hire a crack team of assassins to find and murder them while they sleep? Don’t worry, papa Oda got this. They may try to RUN RUN RUN or Fight Together but I Believe One Day I’ll Share The World news of Mangapanda never Wake Up again. Sorry, forgive my English.
RG: No problem. Let’s move on. How do you respond to fans criticizing you about your treatment of women in the series?
Oda: Yes, I want to say how sorry I am for early form Alvida, Ms. Merry Christmas, Jora, Big Mom and others. I know it’s disgusting but they are needed in the story. Please be patient with them.
RG: Huh?
Oda: Ugly girls. No one likes them but they are needed to make the other girls more beautiful.
RG: No no, Oda. The problem some fans have is you drawing only beautiful, large breasted, super skinny women in One Piece.
Oda: Wha?
RG: Yeah. They want you to draw more physically diverse women.
Oda: I don’t understand. Are you saying people like ugly women and small breasts?
RG: No, that’s not it. They like beautiful women too but they want to see different kinds of women.
Oda: They like breasts but want girls with small breasts?
RG: No, Oda. They just want more gender equality in One Piece, like in real life.
Oda: There are small breasted girls in real life?!
RG: ……………….
Oda: ………………
RG: Okay. Let’s end it here. Thank you so much for joining us today Oda-sensei. See you next time on Meet The Geek. Goodbye!
Oda: …Wait. Are ugly girls real too?
Make love, stop war. What’s Red-Haired Shanks real movitation for stopping the Paramount War?
We all know Shanks is a laid back guy. The main reason he’s so popular with other pirates is because he has the best weed, allegedly. He loves to party and he loves the ladies, well, loves the Makino. So, why did Captain Party decide to stop the Paramount War between Team Edward and Team Sengoku? Answer: Ass.
Let’s look at his first appearance all the way in chapter one. He spent months at Foosha Village on business. Business? Riiiiiight. What business does Shanks have in East Blue? Taking his crew to strip clubs and bowling alleys, that’s what! But, that’s for his crew. I’m thinking he just wanted to spend time with his Makino but left to do “business” to keep his crew happy. Sly dog.
Fast forward ten years with our roguish captain horny as hell, looking for ANY excuse to get back to Foosha Village and tap that bar maiden backside. What’s this? A war at Marine HQ? This is it! His chance finally arrives!
Shanks conveniently arrives in the nick of time to end the war, knowing he could have joined up with Whitebeard in the beginning. He even meet with Whitebeard before the war! Dude couldn’t suggest they team-up for shits and giggles? Course not! He had to be the big hero to impress his girl. Bros before hoes, my friend. Whitebeard is dead because you didn’t follow ye Pirate Bro Code.
The Funeral set him back a few days but mission accomplished. Saved Whitebeard’s crew and now sadden by his death he has more than enough reason to visit Makino for a double dose of hero/grief lovin’.
Uh-oh! Someone didn’t use a Luffy! Time to haul ass back to the New World!
Are you a true fan of One Piece? Probably not.
The internet is full of arguments, big and small. Mostly unimportant. One such argument is between fellow fans of One Piece. Superfans, I call GOdas (God + Oda) are nothing new. The guys and gals who obsess over something to the point where loving something means loving every single thing about it. Maybe it’s because I hold One Piece fans to a higher standard and I love it so much but these GOdas have got to calm the hell down! Here’s a GOda post in response to people complaining about the end of chapter 742.
People who are complaining about how Sugar was defeated – you clearly think you’ve been reading a completely different manga. Go home and stop whining like little bitches :I
Enjoy One Piece for years but if you criticize anything about it you aren’t a real fan. Don’t like something in an over seven hundred chapter story? Sorry, you’ve been wasting your time and money. Stop now and get out while you can.
Get a grip, people! Everyone isn’t going to like every chapter, every character, and every scene in One Piece. That doesn’t make them any less a fan than you.
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