U.N. Condemns Unlawful Headbutting on Sovereign Island [One Piece 995]

Where should I start? There’s soooo much to talk about!

Just kidding! There really isn’t.

I try not to simply recap chapters, so in an effort to make this post longer than 10 sentences, let’s play a game I like to call: Turn The Page. I give my actual thoughts on every page in this chapter and hopefully scrape up something of interest to talk about. Did I mention I’ve been reading One Piece for decades? I’m a real fan, I swear! Game, start!

Page One (Bleh!): Hey, is that the Zombie Risky Bros.? Nice.

Page Two: Oooh! Marco’s fighting Big Mom! That should be interesting.

Page Three: Yeah, baby. Marco’s got an ancient devil fruit. Let’s see what— It’s over… Well… I guess that makes sense. Big Mom’s an Emperor after all.

Page Four: Oh, wow! It’s Carrot and… Um… Diana? That’s it, right? I’m not looking it up. It’s not worth my time.

Page Five: Why do I keep forgetting they’re called Sulongs? And how the heck can Perospero talk with his tongue constantly hanging out? And why did they go for his face? Why not his vital organs or anywhere else? Is this a sexist thing? Or a stupid thing? I can’t tell with Oda anymore.

Page Six: Looking at Carrot and Diana’s clothes made me realize just how casually dressed everyone in this war is. This a battle to decide the fate of a country and the world by extension, and everyone’s dressed like they’re going to their cousin’s birthday party.

Page Seven: Ah! So, Marco will probably help Chopper find a cure to the Ice Oni virus. Such a stupid virus. I love it!

Page Eight: Wait. Apoo dodged Zoro’s attack?

Page Nine: Yep, he did.

Page Ten: Did Apoo block both Zoro and Drake? How strong is this clown?!

Page Eleven: “Zolo.” Ugh! I’ll never get used to that. Sanji’s not the Strawhat #3 anymore, Queen. It’s Jimbe. Get it right! Also, is Queen saying Vinsmoke Judge instead of Sanji a mistake? Seems like it to me.

Page Twelve: Brook’s immune. That’ll come into play later. Chopper’s infected! Time for Marco to save the day.

Page Thirteen: That’s right, Usopp! Beat the shit out of those loser Tobi Roppo! Wait. Why does he look injured? As much as I don’t like them, I gonna admit I love Ulti and Page One’s sibling relationship.

Page Fourteen: No no no no no no no. Don’t you dare, Usopp. Don’t job to them. Please! Again? Damn it!

Page Fifteen: A call back to Usopp’s fight against Mr. 4 and Miss Merry Christmas. Didn’t his skull break in the Arlong arc too? I think it did somewhere else. Nami’s hurt too? *sigh* This mother truckin’ arc, man.

Page Sixteen: So, Nami got head-butted too? That would’ve been cool to see. Don’t say it, Nami! You’re better than that!

Page Seventeen: Aw, Nami! I love it when the Straw Hats back each other’s dreams. Best part of the chapter right here. Tama and her dog? How? And is anyone else hiding on the island? I guess she’ll tame Ulti and Page One. What a weak chapter ending. Well, maybe the revelation Tama is Hiyori’s daughter will happen soon. That’s gotta be the case. Hm? How the hell do I talk about this lame chapter? I need an edible…

And there you have it, dear readers! Wasn’t that exciting? No? Well, blame Oda. He made the chapter. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to finish watching Animaniacs before my edibles free Hulu trial expires. Narf!