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Manga One Piece

Big Mom VS Beyonce (One Piece 902)

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Screw you, Big Mom. You just can’t let the Irreplaceable Beyonce enjoy her success? Last Saturday, Beyonce headlined Coachella to rave reviews. It was an event that’ll go down in history. …And here comes Big Mom, Drunk in Love—and food—, stealing Queen B’s thunder.

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Life or Treat, Beyonce!

Coachella Music and Arts Festival, Weekend 1, Indio, USA - 15 Apr 2018

Sweet Dreams, Big Mom!

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Manga One Piece

Water You Doing, Jinbe? (One Piece 901)

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Oh! Oda’s doing the fan request cover pages with the Strawhats starting with Nami—no, that’s not Nami. Damn, Oda. You don’t give a damn about female faces.

Let’s talk about Jinbe. Much as I love the guy, I’m glad he’s staying behind if for no other reason battling a Yonkou on their home turf requires sacrifice. And, I’ll give Oda points for Luffy ordering him not to die and reunite at Wano. It’s gonna be a tough fight but he’ll make it there. But, it looks like once the Strawhats escape Totto Land we won’t know their allies fates until much later or through a cover story.

Not just talking about Jinbe and the Sun Pirates here. The Firetank Pirates have to escape, and well as…shitty Germa 66. Doubtful Oda will let Sanji’s family die off-screen, not matter how much I bribe him (peanut butter M&Ms are one of Oda’s weaknesses, in case you didn’t know). I’d guess a cover story during the Reverie will wrap things up for Team Jinbe and friends…and Germa.

Sanji said the cake would make Big Mom faint—and it did. For a couple minutes at best. Go Sanji!? For a second, I thought Big Mom would be grateful but, hey, she’s not a pirate for nothing. She’s full of cake and assholes. Big Mom’s got her sights on Luffy’s soul, and a fresh batch of homies powered by it. Let’s see—the Thousand Sunny is wreaked, Luffy’s in no shape to fight, and Sanji’s barely in the chapter. Me thinks Sanji’s giving Big Mom a final goodbye treat to stall her long enough to escape. Or, he could fight Oven but that’s too badass. Oda won’t like it.

Look, not like I’m hating on Sanji’s cooking but I could’ve givin’ Big Mom the same bliss with a Hostess cupcake dipped in queso. Big Mom’s eating a big bowl of F.U. and the crew’s middle fingers before this arc ends.

Guess I should talk about the fake out, but come on. Thousand Sunny wasn’t blowing up. That’s like expecting Sanji to never find All Blue. Question was always how’d they escape…and I’m fine with it. Certainly didn’t see Wadatsumi saving them coming. Good chapter. Looking forward to Germa 66’s death next chapter (Fedex’d a crate of M&Ms yesterday).

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Manga One Piece

Gone to Ship (One Piece Chapter 900)

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It ain’t over until the fat lady sings.

Once more, Big Mom has gotten a face full of creamy topping. The cake is a lying in the street, and the Yonkou ate it up and decided to drop some hot fire. Expect a remix featuring Bruno Mars next week.

Okay, so, Oven is one persistent appliance. He tried to cook the Fishmen Pirates and gave Big Mom’s flag ship the chance to go ham on the Thousand Sunny. Oh, and Germa 66 is getting their butts kicked. Boo freaking hoo (they deserve a beat down).
Back to Thousand Pieces—er—Thousand Sunny. Is it destroyed? Are the Straw Hats dead? Will Zoro become the Pirate King? Come down One Piece fans. The Straw Hats will survive…so will the Thousand Sunny.

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Manga One Piece

Whatcha Gonna Do, Sanji? (One Piece 894)

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A lot happened this chapter, but I want to focus on Sanji.

Well, let’s talk about Jinbe and Nami’s chemistry first. Those two are amazing together, the perfect duo handling any seafaring troubles awaiting the Strawhats in the future. Oh, damn! Imagine Jinbe and Nami AND Franky! Double damn! Jinbe, Nami, Franky AND Usopp taking point on the Gaon Cannon. Wowser!

So, poor Sanji has to somehow Mr. Prince a way to save a soon to be out of commission Luffy from Oven and the rest of Big Mom’s children. By the laws of shonen, since Sanji and Oven battled before they’ll have a fight. That leaves the rest of Big Mom’s kids on Cacao Island and the fleet. What will happen?

I think the key will be Pudding. She’s the minister of that island and probably knows how to get around without being spotted. Maybe there’s something on the island that can help Sanji only she knows about. Her intel will be important.

Can’t forget the Sun Pirates. This will be a good time for them to show or maybe they hang back until the very end. Either way, don’t count them out yet.

Germa 66, remember them? Strong fighters. They can use this opportunity to break even with Sanji by saving him and the Strawhats. With a guy like Snack and some other strong looking Charlotte fighters looking to lay the snackdown (punny) it makes sense to me. Plus, Reiju is a woman and we all know Oda don’t like women seriously fighting men. *sigh*

Yeah, we still have a lot to go after Luffy VS Katakuri. Sit back, relax, and don’t let the Snake Man punch you in the sack.

 

Side note: Didn’t expect seeing Snack. His head still smashed in because of Urouge is a nice touch, ha!

Categories
Manga One Piece

Totto Land is Nasty! (One Piece)

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Lets talk about raw sewage.

No, lets start with Totto Land being made of food and drink first. It finally dawned on me how gross that is. In general, a group of people living in an environment is dirty—at least from my experience. For example, Cacao Island. You have a town full of people walking around and touching chocolate all day. That can’t be hygienic. What about coughing and sneezing? Is there a flu season in the One Piece world? I love nuts in my chocolate but not viruses!

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Manga One Piece

I’m Scared of the Reverie (One Piece)

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Scared how awesome it’ll be!

Come on! The Reverie was first introduced in chapter 142. Wow! Been a long time coming. A meeting of world leaders. I bet the nightly parties are amazing. Heard a rumor Beyonce was performing but who knows.

I do know we’ll see returning past characters from earlier arcs like Vivi, Stelly, Dalton, and Wapol. Dalton and Wapol in the same room, that’ll be fun. Maybe Coby or Neptune will show. King Riku will probably be there. Not to mention Cersei Lannister and Princess Celestia, but only as background characters. Seriously though, maybe the third admiral, Green Bull, makes an appearance. At least one admiral must be going for added security.

Oh, the sweet sweet world building to come. The stuff between arc crusts are just as compelling as the arcs themselves. Now we get a nice plumped world building arc! We’ll learn most, if not, all the current news around the world. The hierarchy among world leaders and, possibly, Celestial Dragons. Information the World Government knows about the state of the Revolutionaries, and the most dangerous pirates. We can’t forget possible talk of eliminating the seven Warlords. And, perhaps, we may see someone with a solution to all the government’s problems. *coughtVegapunkcough*

While it’s doubtful the Strawhats themselves will make an appearance (with so many old characters returning we don’t need them there), I’ve been debating whether the Strawhats are big time enough to garner their own crisis panel at the conference.

Who am I kidding? Luffy has done WAY too much not to earn his own special bullseye target from the world!
Defeating Crocodile and Moria AND Doflamingo.
Burning the World Government flag at Enis Lobby.
Participating the the Marineford War where everyone learned he’s Monkey D. Dragon’s son.
And…beating Katakuri and escaping Totto land. That’s it, folks. That’s the tipping point. When you can beat Big Mom’s strongest subordinate AND escape Totto Land, no one can deny you. You. ARE. The. Real. Deal.
Doesn’t take a genius to realize if you beat the strongest pirate in Big Mom’s crew, there’s nowhere to go but up to Yonko tier or Pirate King. Luffy and the Straw Hats have to be stopped and the Reverie is the place to figure out how. Unless, some uninvited guests come and screw things up. Or both!

I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t put so many expectations into the Reverie but it’s been built up for so long and Oda is a master world builder. I know he’s been planning it for years. YEARS! I really, really shouldn’t…but I will. Take all my excitement Oda and give us fans something mind blowing. I know you of all people can do it.

Categories
Editorial Manga One Piece

Is Pound Dead? (One Piece)

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No.

I love you One Piece, but over and over you prove killing characters is as rare as a Bleach chapter with a background. Pagaya, Pell, Brownbeard, Jack the Drought are some of the manga’s characters who should be dead. And, look, I’m not death hungry. I don’t read One Piece for a body count. Luffy isn’t becoming Frank Castle anytime soon (though Luffy drawn as The Punisher would be cool). But, the situation characters survive in One Piece is ridiculous at times.

But, Oven looked like he was about to slice Pound’s head off?
But, Oda gave Pound the perfect send-off?

Yeah, I agree. But, does that mean he’s dead? Comic book death rules are in effect. Meaning, unless there’s a body, he ain’t dead. And that still holds true for Pedro. Until I see a body neither one is dead, only injured. A pack of bandages away from a full recovery.

So, I’m putting my entire bitcoin fortune on Pound surviving and using my winnings to by a pack of gum. Oh, hell, make it two.

Side note: We finally saw a glance of Big Mom’s husband cycle. Apparently, she gets pregnant, keeping hubby around until the baby’s born then he’s unceremoniously kicked to the curb. Not even enough time to hold the child. Big Mom is cold.

Categories
One Piece Survive

Survive: Totto Land

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Yonko Pirate Big Mom’s archipelago, home to Whole Cake Island, her primary base of operations. How long could I survive in Totto Land?

First I’d have to show loyalty to the Big Mom Pirates, maybe join the crew as a lackey. But, I’m not a fighter so I’ll probably get a normal job on one of Totto Land’s thirty-five islands—islands made of food. Cacao Island, Nuts Island, Cheese Island, Milk Island, so many to choose from. Well, not Milk Island, place is most likely ninety-nine percent rancid. Can’t forget the rivers of juice. Think I’ll travel about before settling down.

But, what to do about the soul payment? Big Mom collects one month of every resident’s life span twice a year. Small but it’ll add up over time. And, it’s not like I can leave. Big Mom isn’t one to let members of her crew go—the same is probably true for her regular citizens. So, adding up the soul payments, option to join Big Mom’s crew and the general living conditions of one constantly living in, on, and around food, I estimate I can survive for…

Categories
Manga One Piece

Let’s talk about Jimbei and Carrot [One Piece, Chapter 881]

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Jimbei is the Strawhat helmsman, we get it, Oda!

You’ve been dropping clues throughout the series, but chapter 881 is our first look at the former warlord showing how top-level a helmsman he truly is. Not only did Oda get on a megaphone, blasting Jimbei’s crew role but also hinted why no one reached Raftel since Gol D. Roger and his crew. Here’s the mathematical equation to reach Raftel:

Nami + Franky + Robin (Road Polyglyphs) + Jimbei=Raftel

Categories
One Piece

Straw Hat Virgins?

Is it sick and/or twisted to think about whether fictional characters had sexual relationships? Yes. But, because no one asked for it lets analyze which members of the Straw Hat crew had sex.

I need to get out more.

Luffy
Luffy, like most shounen protagonists, don’t like or understand sex. Why is that? Does all that hormonal energy get transferred into fighting power? Maybe if protags like Luffy discover sex they won’t want to do anything else. No point going to Raftel looking for booty if you can get some at a random town. Unless Hancock snuck in some sneaky dinky while Luffy was asleep during the time skip, no sex here. Well, there was that handjob on Amazon Lily but Luffy was asleep. What the hell, I’ll allow it!

Luffy: Handjob. No intercourse.

Zoro
Zoro had an undefined amount of time as a pirate hunter. Enough time to get a reputation even. That sort of reputation could get him laid easily. Zoro seems like a guy who won’t mind a one-time lay, especially if she got booze.

Zoro: Drunk Sex.

Nami
Nami doesn’t strike me as someone who had sex but the girl is a total tease. First base and second base for sure, but she’s too smart to let a guy get to third base before she’s got him handcuffed and walking out the door with his wallet. The lady don’t want your “D” when she can have your “B”, beli. Or, is it beri? Belly?

Nami: No Sex.

Usopp
Not unless Usopp & Kaya did the nasty. Did Usopp volunteer to play “doctor” with Kaya or did Kaya ever want to know if Usopp’s nose was as long as his…slingshot. Hmm. This is kinda of a toughie but factoring in the cock blocking butlers I’d say at the very least they didn’t have time to go all the way. No intercourse, only oral. Oral from Usopp. Oral speaking, I mean!

Usopp: No Sex.

Sanji
Nope. Nope. Nope. Sanji is a guy who screams virgin. Poor guy barely knows how to talk to women. Lay off the romance talk and be yourself Sanji. You can cook for Oda’s sake, you’re already 80% there! Be natural, be polite, and stop acting so desperate. We’re all rooting for you, buddy!

Sanji: No Sex. (Don’t give up!)

Chopper
He was an outcast for most of his life. No reindeer ponani for Tony Tony.

Chopper: No Bestiality.

Robin
Oh boy! I was waiting for this. We’ve seen her back story. We’ve seen her Franky recruiting skills. No virgin here. Seriously, I’m sure Robin had sex at some point. Being on the run from the World Government can be stressful and being lonely you consciously or subconsciously look for companionship. Maybe she had a boyfriend who ended up selling her out or maybe a few one-night stands to feel the warmth of another person. Our Robin has gone though a lot in her life and it’s not far fetched to say she was in a sexual relationship to forget about her problems if only briefly. That, and virgin girls don’t grab guy’s balls in public. Ms. Nico is a freak in the bed.

Robin: Kinky Sex.

Franky
I say yes because I want to believe a guy of Franky’s age had sex. Dude’s a self-proclaimed pervert, he got laid. Whether or not he lost it to a girl is more debatable. Yes, I’m one of those fans who thinks Franky is bisexual. Let’s face it, Franky to too suuuuuuper for only one gender. For a good time call Cutty Flam, 555-PERV.

Franky: Hentai Sex.

Brook
It’s easy to put Sanji and Brook in the same desperate virgin class but I think Brook did the nasty at some point before he died. Brook is the type of guy that’ll spend any available time at a strip club or red light district. Brook is always on the prowl for a whore. That’s why he’s always asking girls for panties. He’s got no time for relationships, he wants to get straight to the point. Every time he says “May I see your panties” he’s really saying “I’m old. I’m horny. Let’s fuck.” Can you imagine all the groupie tail he got during his tour? Wait. Brook doesn’t have junk. Skull joke!

Brook: How Much For A Lap Dance Sex.

Jinbe

Or Jinbei or Jimbe. Doesn’t matter how you call him, just don’t hang up. Jinbe’s a social guy. Seems like he’s always around people, except when locked up. No way he didn’t get some tail as a royal guard. And as a pirate? Please! Bad boys are sexy and he’s been going hard at it, pirating, I mean, for years. You can’t tell me he’s never hooked up with a Ryugu Royal Family groupie or some pretty (and bored) harbor resident while docked on some island. Plus, he’s a martial artist. Who wouldn’t want a big strong hunk of tuna for a midnight snack? Hey! Jinbe’s just doing what Fisher Tiger taught: coexistence in bed between humans and fish-men. And believe me, he passed that class with swimming colors.

Jinbe: Wet & Wild Sex.

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