Tag: One Piece

Please rise for Wano’s new national anthem.

How many ways can I say it? How many ways can I say Oden is a total idiot?

There’s nothing noble about any of this. None! This is what a ten-year-old would think is cool. This is brain-dead drama at it’s finest. Logic punches holes through it like a wet straw through toilet paper (Don’t ask.). This whole damn tragedy of a backstory stands on Oden trusting the word of shitty people. Shitty people who don’t even hide that they’re shitty! I—I can NOT get over this mountain of stupidity.

“You want to stop the kidnapping? But if you go to war against us…you will lose far more than you bargained for.”

Excuse me? So, let me get this straight. Orochi is basically saying what? He’ll drag out war so more people will die? Straight up attack the populace? Okay, I can see that happening IF YOU LET HIM! Hot damn on a cold plate, Oden. Use your brain! Your best option at ending this as soon as possible was walking out the palace and TELLING the people what was happening. They would’ve believed you! They all know Orochi’s a piece of garbage.

I’m gonna start with the positive, y’all: Oda’s very consistent with Oden’s behavior. And, that one-page spread with Oden cutting Kaido was great too. Hm, what else? Oh! The art was nice, no problems there. Let’s see… Umm, yep, that’s all I got for the positive.

Now, for the negative: Kokuki Oden is a consistent dumbass. Not a funny dumbass, a sad dumbass. The type of dumbass who may start as funny and cute, but after a while, you get tired of his crap and just want him to grow up or go away. He’s not an awful character, just a stupid one the author is desperately trying to mold into a hardcore badass. Welp, you got the ass part right, Oda. But, bad? Nah, dude. He’s a dumbass through and through.

Why? Why, Oden, would you believe the words of a man who most likely killed your father and tricked his way to the throne? Orochi is a consistent liar. LIAR! He lied about needing money, about you thinking of him as a brother, about your dead father wanting him to take the throne in your absence. He lied about everything! And, you’re just gonna believe him and his equally shitty business partner will uphold a bargain? *sigh* I’m so tired of you, Oden. So very very tired. I will give points to Oda for trying to make you a well-rounded character with flaws, but I… Just. Don’t. Care.

Remember Whitebeard, Oden? That guy you consider a brother? You had 5 freaking years to send someone out to find him or do it yourself. Yeah, it would’ve been hard sneaking away but at least TRY.

And while I’m on the subject of stupid, how could you let Orochi stay in power? He had the flimsiest excuse keeping the throne. Uh, duh. We don’t know who Sukiyaki wanted to take the throne. Really, now? So, he wouldn’t want his son to take the seat? And, neverminding that, Orochi admitted tricking his way to the throne! One of his lackeys impersonated the Shogun! The entire power structure on Wano was manipulated into making him the ruler. That’s some Grade-A bullshit! That alone is enough to destroy any validity to the throne. Come on, Oden. Come the hell on, dude. THINK!!!!

Okay, okay. We don’t know the details behind Oden giving in to Orochi. The only one who knows is Shinobu, but I’m sure it’ll be revealed eventually. It better be good, Oda. Probably something to do with opening Wano’s borders and no factories in Kuri, something like that. What else could Oden do? He had to put his trust into the man who manipulated his way to the highest position of the government and poisoned his father. Duuuuuude.

I DO!

Me! Come baaaack!!! Don’t leave me alone with him. I can’t take any more chapters focused on Oden!

In an effort to keep my review positive, I downloaded an app that tweaks my words slightly to make my writing more positive. Any app revisions will be in green. Now, with that said, let’s get on with this shitshow. …Hm? Oh, sorry, I forgot to turn it on. Let’s get on with this loveshow. There we go!

It’s only the last half of the chapter I respectfully disapprove of. Everything with the Roger Pirates was great as usual. We now know Roger’s feat was built up mainly due to the World Government wanting him asleep after learning the truth about the world and the public embellishing the treasure he found at Laugh Tale. Not that it matters since Roger is living less and mutually uncouples with his crew. A good idea, not only because they accomplished their goal, but it’ll be harder to find every member if they all split up. Safe to say Roger gave himself up just to protect his crew after talking to Whitebeard and hooking up with Portgas D. Rouge.

Who’s the other sovereign the Sea Kings were talking about? Joy Boy? Luffy? Richard Ayoade? Well, I hope it isn’t Luffy because I strongly dislike the idea of him being a “chosen one”. Forget that stuff! Keep that sass out of my One Piece.

Put down your suitcases because we got a lot to unpack here.

Let’s start with Roger and Oden being able to hear the voices of certain things or creatures. Could that be an ability all D’s once possessed? And, if it’s true, does that make the Kozuki Clan descendants of D?

Man, Big Mom had that Road Ponegliff for a loooong time. No surprise Oda didn’t reveal where the last one is, but a lot of fans are guessing Elbaf. Makes sense, a land of giants would be a great place to get the last Road Ponegliff, and the island itself has been hyped for years.

We got confirmation Buggy and Shanks never reached Raftel. Or, should I say Laugh Tale. Not sure about Buggy, but I’m guessing Shanks was later told everything that happened on the final island. Him having that knowledge would be the only reason why he’d be allowed to speak with the 5 Elder Stars in my modest and adorable opinion.

Should I talk about Oden abandoning his home? Or, the whole reason Wano became a 95% wasteland was because of him? Should I mention how Toki should’ve let Oden and the freaking ROGER PIRATES spend at least one day bashing Orochi’s head in and appointing Kin’emon the new Temp Shogun and then set sail?

…Nah!

That’s right. It’s all about Roger and Whitebeard. Oden’s just along for the ride. Forget the backseat, put him in the trunk.

With the obligatory Oden hate out of the way, let’s talk about the chapter. We see Oden get shut down by Captain Roger before Whitebeard sashays into the fray. He and Roger clash which begins a 3 day/3 night (all expenses paid) battle that we’ll never get to see because this flashback is rushed faster than a 12-year-old posting on Twitter after witnessing a schoolyard fight. Apparently, no one dies, so they have a gift exchange and WHY AM I DOING A BEAT BY BEAT SYNOPSIS? Let’s get to the good stuff!

Blackbeard. It’s noted he never seems to sleep (No wonder he’s an asshole). What the heck is up with this guy and his body? I don’t even know where to begin. I’m stumped, y’all. I got nothing, no idea what he is.

Who cares about him? I’m loving all the stuff about the Whitebeard and Roger Pirates!

Let’s get into the meat of the chapter, Orochi Kurozumi’s rise to power. It was all due to an old woman I assume to be Orochi’s grandmother. It looks like she escaped Wano after Orochi’s grandfather got busted for murdering his fellow Daimyos all to take the Shogun title. What’s interesting to me is how someone from Wano not only learned all about devil fruits, but managed to get at least two, one for herself, and one, a mythical devil fruit, for Orochi. There’s definitely more going on here, y’all. Maybe the Kurozumi Family had access to ancient knowledge just like the Kozuki Clan.

Using her Clone-Clone fruit (Yes, the same devil fruit used by Bentham AKA Bon Clay AKA Mr. 2 today.), the Old Lady hatched a plan to have Orochi work his way up the hierarchy as an assistant, all while amassing as much money as possible to build weapons to sell abroad. This is how he got Kaido on his side. Well, that and having him set up his base on Wano. It’s a win-win for both. And, with Sukiyaki Oden dead and Orochi running the country in Kozuki’s absence, he’s pretty much won the game. Killing Kozuki as punishment for leaving Wano when he returns is simply a formally now.

What was I thinking? Oh, I know. I was thinking Oda would go the extra mile designing what could possibly be the one character in the world other than select members of the World Government and what remains of Roger’s Crew who knows what went down during the Void Century. Oh well, instead say hello to Robin Clone #127.

This is the chapter where we learn how Oden ended up sailing with the Whitebeard Pirates. As an Official Card-Carrying Oden Hater (meetings every Tuesday and Friday), even I thought Whitebeard making him hold onto a chain behind the Moby Dick was cold. Anyway, Izo’s there and it’s great seeing him mad at his future daddy. We later learn Cat Viper and Dogstorm stowed away, predicting Oden would sneak aboard too. Good call, guys. Why is Kin’emon in charge again?

We meet Robin’s Ancestor who is saved from Captain Karma who I assume has a devil fruit or one of his parents is a fish person. It doesn’t matter, because Oden is ready to protect her and the Whitebeard Pirates show up too. McWhitey knows Oden failed his test in order to save Dr. Who so he’s letting him join anyway. Boo! No, no, I kid. This flashback’s much better with Whitebeard in it.

A group of people trying to be superstars, learning different things and changing their looks to wow people all so they can perform on stage (or procession in this case). Yeah, it’s basically that show. Good on you, Oda.

Cat Viper, Dogstorm and Kawatmatsu join the Oden Party. We’re reminded of the pact between the Kozuki Clan and Minks. Yep, something serious went down hundreds of years ago. Can you say Void Century? You can? Well, excuuuse me. Moving on.

We see the full scene of Oden’s vassals getting caught and offered the money they were trying to steal from Lord Yasuie. It all ends up being an investment on his part to turn a bunch of thugs not only into proper vassals but the protectors of Wano as a whole. Talk about seeing the big picture. See kids? That’s the difference between being a proper investor and playing the lottery. Stupid scratch-off tickets always giving me 2 gold bars. I’m so close to winning! …Ahem! Moving on.

We learn Orochi’s no longer Yasuie’s attendant and is working for Lord Sukiyaki, poisoning the crap out of him. Okay, that last part’s not confirmed but we know that’s what’s happening. The slimeball also keeps begging for money from Oden. So what’s all this money for? What’s he trying to buy? Poison? People through bribes? Information? Weapons? Well, it ain’t a Disney+ subscription I can tell you that (He stole Yasuie’s password.).

♪Who’s the leader of the club that’s made for you and me? K-O-Z-U-K-I  O-D-E-N-N.♪

…Eh? Close enough.

This chapter reveals how Kozuki Oden met up with most of his samurai. Holy crap, Oda’s moving 90 KPH through this flashback! I still don’t care about them. There’s no time to care! Why? Because we have to see Oden’s epic fight against Ashura Doji in Kuri—and it got skipped. Whatever, Oda.

But, hey! Oden turned all the criminals in Kuri into his followers and fixed up the area! How? You see he… Damn it, Oda! You skipped that too?! Is this a flashback or a Netflix intro?