Tag: One Piece

First, he called out Raki (Or, was it Gal Gadot?) for singing Imagine with her CP9 friends on their visual Den Den Mushi. Then, he crapped on Kalifa (Or, maybe it was Madonna?) for her weird bubble bath Instagram video. Now, it’s Kanjuro’s turn to face his wrath.

Making sure Kanjuro’s tweets were wrong, Kin’emon lied about what Lord Yasuie’s Tik Tok message really meant, the petty bastard. Well, it all worked out in the end because Lord Orochi’s orders via Facebook (Only the vilest humans use Facebook, after all.) were inaccurate and did nothing to stop the gathering of the Akazaya Samurai’s 5400 allies, all with the help of Google Hangouts, but don’t tell Kin’emon!

Chapter Music Recommendation 

Ugh… I got a headache.

I had this weird dream I wasn’t loving One Piece. There…was this guy…  And…I don’t know. But, for some strange reason, I get the feeling I shouldn’t remember and should never speak of it again.

We’re back in the present, y’all!

And, oh no! Kanjuro (a Kurozumi, no less) was the traitor all along! At first, I thought it was Kiku. Thinking about it, it makes sense it was him. His devil fruit would allow him to send messages to Orochi pretty easily. Gold stars to everyone who figured it out before reading this chapter. Maybe I could’ve done so, but I was distracted with… Ode… No, no, no. I better not think about it. Hm, why is there a hole in my wall shaped like my head?

Oden is really O-Dead. But, O-da just can’t stop not O-mitting him. O-Damn it!

That was a nice scene with the Roger Pirates floating down from Sky Island, even if I had to see him again.

Anyone else feels like we’re missing pieces of this chapter? For example, we barely got any of Kaido’s Generals/Lead Performers/Assistant Producers. Oh, well, what can I say. The whole burning of Kozuki Castle, just like most of this flashback, was rushed.

Alrighty. Let’s get this over with.

Merry Christmas, Kozuki Oden!

I did get emotional.

No lie. I did. Oda does a great job of writing emotional scenes. But, at the end of the day, this is the story of a… fool of a lord who had the opportunity to save his country but decided to listen to his father’s murderer instead.

There’s just so much crap you have to ignore to like this flashback. I won’t go over it in detail again. The short version is Oden made some VERY bad decisions when handling Orochi but all that is tossed to the side to give a fake emotional impact of him being a hero by protecting Wano for years. It’s forced drama. Sure, the drama is good in places, but it’s all built on a foundation of stupid. I just can’t get over it.

Well, at least Shinobu got to free Oden’s fanboys from their chains. That’s something. And, no, I’m not going into how Oden can die from a bullet to the head yet survive boiling oil for an hour. That’s shonen power level BS and it’s the least of this flashback’s problem.

Please rise for Wano’s new national anthem.

How many ways can I say it? How many ways can I say Oden is a total idiot?

There’s nothing noble about any of this. None! This is what a ten-year-old would think is cool. This is brain-dead drama at it’s finest. Logic punches holes through it like a wet straw through toilet paper (Don’t ask.). This whole damn tragedy of a backstory stands on Oden trusting the word of shitty people. Shitty people who don’t even hide that they’re shitty! I—I can NOT get over this mountain of stupidity.

“You want to stop the kidnapping? But if you go to war against us…you will lose far more than you bargained for.”

Excuse me? So, let me get this straight. Orochi is basically saying what? He’ll drag out war so more people will die? Straight up attack the populace? Okay, I can see that happening IF YOU LET HIM! Hot damn on a cold plate, Oden. Use your brain! Your best option at ending this as soon as possible was walking out the palace and TELLING the people what was happening. They would’ve believed you! They all know Orochi’s a piece of garbage.

I’m gonna start with the positive, y’all: Oda’s very consistent with Oden’s behavior. And, that one-page spread with Oden cutting Kaido was great too. Hm, what else? Oh! The art was nice, no problems there. Let’s see… Umm, yep, that’s all I got for the positive.

Now, for the negative: Kokuki Oden is a consistent dumbass. Not a funny dumbass, a sad dumbass. The type of dumbass who may start as funny and cute, but after a while, you get tired of his crap and just want him to grow up or go away. He’s not an awful character, just a stupid one the author is desperately trying to mold into a hardcore badass. Welp, you got the ass part right, Oda. But, bad? Nah, dude. He’s a dumbass through and through.

Why? Why, Oden, would you believe the words of a man who most likely killed your father and tricked his way to the throne? Orochi is a consistent liar. LIAR! He lied about needing money, about you thinking of him as a brother, about your dead father wanting him to take the throne in your absence. He lied about everything! And, you’re just gonna believe him and his equally shitty business partner will uphold a bargain? *sigh* I’m so tired of you, Oden. So very very tired. I will give points to Oda for trying to make you a well-rounded character with flaws, but I… Just. Don’t. Care.

Remember Whitebeard, Oden? That guy you consider a brother? You had 5 freaking years to send someone out to find him or do it yourself. Yeah, it would’ve been hard sneaking away but at least TRY.

And while I’m on the subject of stupid, how could you let Orochi stay in power? He had the flimsiest excuse keeping the throne. Uh, duh. We don’t know who Sukiyaki wanted to take the throne. Really, now? So, he wouldn’t want his son to take the seat? And, neverminding that, Orochi admitted tricking his way to the throne! One of his lackeys impersonated the Shogun! The entire power structure on Wano was manipulated into making him the ruler. That’s some Grade-A bullshit! That alone is enough to destroy any validity to the throne. Come on, Oden. Come the hell on, dude. THINK!!!!

Okay, okay. We don’t know the details behind Oden giving in to Orochi. The only one who knows is Shinobu, but I’m sure it’ll be revealed eventually. It better be good, Oda. Probably something to do with opening Wano’s borders and no factories in Kuri, something like that. What else could Oden do? He had to put his trust into the man who manipulated his way to the highest position of the government and poisoned his father. Duuuuuude.

I DO!

Me! Come baaaack!!! Don’t leave me alone with him. I can’t take any more chapters focused on Oden!

In an effort to keep my review positive, I downloaded an app that tweaks my words slightly to make my writing more positive. Any app revisions will be in green. Now, with that said, let’s get on with this shitshow. …Hm? Oh, sorry, I forgot to turn it on. Let’s get on with this loveshow. There we go!

It’s only the last half of the chapter I respectfully disapprove of. Everything with the Roger Pirates was great as usual. We now know Roger’s feat was built up mainly due to the World Government wanting him asleep after learning the truth about the world and the public embellishing the treasure he found at Laugh Tale. Not that it matters since Roger is living less and mutually uncouples with his crew. A good idea, not only because they accomplished their goal, but it’ll be harder to find every member if they all split up. Safe to say Roger gave himself up just to protect his crew after talking to Whitebeard and hooking up with Portgas D. Rouge.

Who’s the other sovereign the Sea Kings were talking about? Joy Boy? Luffy? Richard Ayoade? Well, I hope it isn’t Luffy because I strongly dislike the idea of him being a “chosen one”. Forget that stuff! Keep that sass out of my One Piece.

Put down your suitcases because we got a lot to unpack here.

Let’s start with Roger and Oden being able to hear the voices of certain things or creatures. Could that be an ability all D’s once possessed? And, if it’s true, does that make the Kozuki Clan descendants of D?

Man, Big Mom had that Road Ponegliff for a loooong time. No surprise Oda didn’t reveal where the last one is, but a lot of fans are guessing Elbaf. Makes sense, a land of giants would be a great place to get the last Road Ponegliff, and the island itself has been hyped for years.

We got confirmation Buggy and Shanks never reached Raftel. Or, should I say Laugh Tale. Not sure about Buggy, but I’m guessing Shanks was later told everything that happened on the final island. Him having that knowledge would be the only reason why he’d be allowed to speak with the 5 Elder Stars in my modest and adorable opinion.

Should I talk about Oden abandoning his home? Or, the whole reason Wano became a 95% wasteland was because of him? Should I mention how Toki should’ve let Oden and the freaking ROGER PIRATES spend at least one day bashing Orochi’s head in and appointing Kin’emon the new Temp Shogun and then set sail?

…Nah!

That’s right. It’s all about Roger and Whitebeard. Oden’s just along for the ride. Forget the backseat, put him in the trunk.

With the obligatory Oden hate out of the way, let’s talk about the chapter. We see Oden get shut down by Captain Roger before Whitebeard sashays into the fray. He and Roger clash which begins a 3 day/3 night (all expenses paid) battle that we’ll never get to see because this flashback is rushed faster than a 12-year-old posting on Twitter after witnessing a schoolyard fight. Apparently, no one dies, so they have a gift exchange and WHY AM I DOING A BEAT BY BEAT SYNOPSIS? Let’s get to the good stuff!

Blackbeard. It’s noted he never seems to sleep (No wonder he’s an asshole). What the heck is up with this guy and his body? I don’t even know where to begin. I’m stumped, y’all. I got nothing, no idea what he is.