Category: One Piece

See, kids? That’s what happens when you don’t wear masks and social distance. You turn into ice monsters with bad stamina stats.

Chopper saved the day! Thank goodness. I felt like that Ice Oni plotline had lasted for 17 seasons. So, I guess it’s Queen VS Chopper while Marco takes on King and (maybe) Perospero. Honestly, I don’t care anymore. As much as I like Queen, somebody needs to kick somebody’s ass so we can move this arc along.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Oda for taking out the Oniwabanshu and Mimawarigumi! They were barely worth the ink they were drawn on. Jobbers. But I noticed the leader of the Oniwabanshu is nowhere to be seen. Hmm… Could he be headed for the “dead” Shogun Orochi? Or maybe the bathroom? I’d take either outcome.

Let’s see… I got my popcorn and chai iced tea. Better silence my phone too. Now, I’m all ready for the greatest chapter in One Piece history!

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………ArE yOu F*cKiN’ kIdDiNg Me?!

Hyo? Hyogoro the Flower? That’s the focus of the chapter? Screw you, Oda! You got me all hyped up last week thinking I’d see a Nico Robin & Brook VS Black Maria. But, instead we get a character I could give two sweaty farts about! Why? Why did I let myself look forward to anything in this arc. It was a lack in judgement on my part expecting Oda to actually not hop around from scene to scene like a tree frog on cocaine. Enough with the hype already! Just get the to good stuff!

It wasn’t all bad though. Marco holding his own against both King and Queens was cool. And, then there’s…nope, that’s it. That was the only interesting thing about the chapter.

Let’s talk about Nico Robin. She’s my favorite Straw Hat crew member, you know. She’s smart, kind, capable, and a total badass. I love her.

So, Imagine my excitement seeing her get so much focus this chapter. Not only that, she’s getting a fight! I love seeing Robin fight. I find her devil fruit, the Hana Hana no Mi, to be one of the most versatile powers in the series. Defense, offense, surveillance, rescue, comedy, the fruit does it all. Am I gushing? Sorry. What was my point? Oh, who cares! I love Nico Robin!

Ah! I remember now. Robin’s getting a fight. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I wish it was a one-on-one against Black Maria, but Oda’s being Oda so what can you do? Speaking of which, Oda must’ve been really horny coming up with this chapter. Boobs galore. We get it, Oda. You. Love. Titties.

Tama’s forcing her control on countless sentient beings. Making them play the role she wants to play for her benefit. Are we sure she’s not the evil one here?

Of course not! You see, when someone like the Scarlet Witch destroys free will because they’re lonely, that’s bad. But, when it’s to win a war against evil pirates, that’s good. On citizens=bad. On pirates=good. Got it?

Okay, okay, it’s pretty effed up not matter how you slice it, but the Animal Kingdom Pirates constantly engage in murder, slave trading, theft, and torture. They’re not exactly a group you should sympathize with. So, in my humble conclusion…screw ’em!

This was a good chapter! It’s great seeing Team Luffy push Kaido into having to use his man-beast form. And, while it was surprising seeing CP0 on Onigashima Island, I’m intrigued to learn what Oda will have them do even if it’s just to witness the defeat of two Emperors of the Sea. Well, if they aren’t too drunk on all the free booze they can drink.

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…Um…you can go now. Review’s over.

What the hell am I supposed to talk about?!

Seriously, what? I don’t do chapter recaps, I just post my general thoughts on a chapter and focus on points of interest then make stupid predictions. It’s what I do. What’s there to point out this week? How Big Mom should’ve hit everyone with lighting at the very start? How Kaido should’ve blasted everyone with his dragon breath ages ago?

*sigh* Let’s see what I can do… Kaido has a strong defense. Um…Big Mom will probably be taken out first. …Didn’t I say that on the last One Piece review? Ugh!

Alright! A lot happened this chapter. So much I’ll have to break this review down one panel at a time! Brace yourself, y’all. It’s gonna be a long one.

Just kidding! This was a fighty-fight chapter. There’s not much to talk about. In fact, let’s talk about what didn’t happen: a cutaway. None. Not one. Now that’s rare coming from One Piece these days. I was certain we’d get 3 pages of the big fight then switch gears over to what everyone else and their little brother is doing. Good on you, Oda! Too bad it won’t last. Would I like to see Queen and King and the Tobi Roppo defeated? Yeah. But, my desire to see this arc done overrides all of that. I’m such a Negative Nancy.

A website called Claymore. Yeah, I think that was the name. I clicked on a short video clip of Luffy punching Captain Kuro. The art style in that video was nothing I’d ever seen. The punch was satisfying too. That, y’all, was my first exposure to One Piece back in…2004? 2003? Somewhere along that time.

Fast forward buying cheap, badly subbed anime episodes to buying Japanese volumes to look at while I read chapter translations online to actual scanlations. To, finally, reading official English Translations the same day it comes out in Japan! If you told me that’s how I’d be reading One Piece one day I’d think you were nuts.

So, here we are, One Piece chapter 1000. I gotta say, I enjoyed it. Mostly because we’re getting to the actual fight between Luffy and Kaido. But, it’s bigger than that. It’s Luffy, Zoro, Kid, Killer, and Law VS Kaido and Big Mom. It’s gonna be quite the fight!

Someone with a fish-fish devil fruit? And, it could be Kaido?! I don’t think anyone saw that coming.

The odds of Oda making a fish-fish devil fruit in a world where Fish-men exist and the natural weakness of devil fruit users is being submerged in water were pretty low. But, here we are. It’s been implied by Big Mom she gave Kaido a fish-fish devil fruit. But, he’s a dragon, right? He ate the dragon-dragon fruit and that’s that, right? Well…take a look at this:

Kaido’s got fish scale tattoos and whiskers. And, so does our fishy Koi friend here (Well, it’s got actual scales but you get what I mean). We can also ignore Kaido’s horns because they seem to be more of a characteristic of his species than the product of having a devil fruit (Yamato’s got horns too), so I guess it’s really true.

What’s more, it’s probably a fish-fish fruit: model Koi. Why a Koi? Because there seems to be an Eastern legend about the Koi fish. Basically, the gods were so impressed by a Koi making it to the top of a waterfall against all odds that they turned it into a dragon. Think Magikarp and Gyarados, for you Pokémon fans, and you got the gist of it.

So, what does this all mean? Is Kaido’s dragon form simply the awakened version of his devil fruit? Does he have even more hidden abilities ready to unleash on Team Luffy? Maybe. Or, maybe there’s a hidden weakness ready to be discovered by some perceptive opponent. I don’t know but I find it very fascinating.

Ah, yes, the classic Oda Flex™ chapter. Let’s see if the Tobi Roppo zoan reveals were worth the wait.

We’ve already seen X. Drake’s zoan form. Did we know he was an Allosaurus? I always thought he was a T-Rex. I guess Oda’s saving that one for later. He’s gonna fight Scratchmen Apoo and maybe co-fight Queen? Just who the hell is fighting Queen? Brook and Robin? They’d be more useful fighting him with Drake than Kaido. Queen and Brook can have a rock star battle or something. Oh, and let’s not forget Monster Chopper for the assist. Yeah, I’d like to see that.

Zoro/Marco VS King. I think that’s happening. Who else is King gonna fight? Franky? Nope, General Franky’s about to tangle with Sasaki, a Triceratops. Gotta say, I’m loving Sasaki’s zoan form design. He’ll be a real challenge for ole Frank.

*SIGH* Sanji’s getting a joke fight with Black Maria. Okay, that’s not fair. It’s possible Black Maria could be one of the strongest—HAHAHAHA! Oh, boy. Sorry! I tried to keep a straight face. This is One Piece we’re talking about. The odds are not in Black Maria’s favor she’ll be anything more than an eye candy gimmick. Next!