It had to happen eventually.
Nintendo made a Legend of Zelda game starring Zelda. In The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom, you take the role of Zelda, Princess of Hyrule. Why?
Because Nintendo supports monarchies.
Oh? It’s fun living in a country under a dictatorship when you can just turn it off when your thin-crust pizza arrives, huh? Well, I say if we have to pay taxes, so does Princess Zelda!
How’s anyone gonna challenge Princess Putin’s rule when she’s so overpowered! Zelda can make copies of just about anything or anyone she wants! Summoners are powerful, Y’all. You step out of line and you’ve got a giant spider chomping at your butt. Don’t bow down low enough when your ruler walks by? You get dropped over a cliff. What a monster!
And say goodbye to escaping Hyrule. Sure, the Caribbean Islands are only a couple of hours away by boat, but Kim Jong Zelda will hunt you down on her hell horse before you even make it to the pier! She can even hitch a ride on a bird—monitoring your every move without you even realizing it. You’re not going anywhere, peasant. You’re stuck in Hyrule peeling potatoes and building waypoints forever.
Overall, The Legend of Zelda: Echoes of Wisdom is another authoritarian positive game reenforcing only the rich, beautiful, and powerful have the right to tell everyone else what to do. Fight the Hyrule Empire! Zelda is Darth Vader with a perm. Don’t let her win!
Mammoth Base Opera Castle 