You are disgusting. An amoral, psychotic, ugly, vicious, pile of human excrement wearing a dress without panties. Oh! Sorry, got a little ahead of myself. Today I get the displeasure of interviewing the most horrible vampire ever, Diva.
Redgeek: …Hello, Diva.
Diva: I’m not ugly.
Redgeek: You are the devil!
Diva: I only do what I’m born to do. Don’t be racist.
Redgeek: What?! You’re a monster. Are we really going to have this conversation?
Diva: This is an interview, isn’t it?
Redgeek: First of all. Chiropterans are not inherently evil.
Diva: No, humanity is. Have you forgotten what was done to me?
Redgeek: And it’s a shame, really. But, massacring everyone at the Zoo is the least of your crimes. What about Riku?
Diva: *sigh* Why does everyone bring up Riku? Doesn’t even pay child support. Get it? Because you can’t pay when you’re dead. Honestly, I did him a favor.
Redgeek: I-I don’t… What you did to Riku… That one act of cruelty makes you one of the worst beings ever to walk the Earth.
Diva: What about me? You never asked how I felt about it now.
Redgeek: Okay, how do you feel?
Diva: Great. *laughs* Killing my sister’s adoptive brother, creating my darling children, and not having to engage in awkward post sex conversation—quite a treat. Plus, Riku was hung like a—
Redgeek: Stop! And to make things worse, you made a move on Kai. The hell is wrong with you?
Diva: That was a joke. Don’t tell me you never joked about raping and killing someone. What a SWJ. Next, I suppose you’ll tell me trying to turn a significant number of the populous into chiropterans was bad.
Redgeek: You know what? We’re done here Diva. I hope you die a painfully ironic death.
Diva: Maybe. Depends on which version of Blood+ you see. Did I just kill the fourth wall? Whoops. *giggle*
Redgeek: And with that, I’ll see you all next time on Meet the Geek.
Diva: I never got to promote my new album. Kanye West is producing it.
Redgeek: Truly a monster through and through.
Mammoth Base Opera Castle 